The birth of your baby is approaching. This will be a very special day for you. Even if you already have birth experience, this event is incomparable for every child. You will probably want to have a trusted person by your side at the birth, someone you can share these moving hours with and who will support you well. Most women rely on their partner to accompany them through the birth, which is usually the father of the child. To Fathers in the delivery room there is a lot to say. Perhaps you would like to read this together with your partner?
Sometimes, however, it is already foreseeable that the father will not be able or willing to come to the birth. Some expectant mothers deliberately choose another person to accompany them instead. In my many years as a midwife, I have met women who, for example, have brought their closest friend, their partner, their mother or their sister to the birth. Ultimately, it all comes down to your wishes and needs. The decisive factor is who would be good for you and can support you sensitively during the birth process. You are the best judge of who this person should be for you at this special moment in your life.
Some women also opt for a doula. This term comes from ancient Greek and means something like "servant". A doula is therefore a Professional birth attendant. She devotes herself exclusively to the woman giving birth for the entire duration of the labour and is there for her undividedly. However, the doula does not bear any medical responsibility; this remains in the hands of the midwife or the obstetric team. The costs for the accompaniment of a doula must be borne privately, as they are not covered by health insurance.
I would also like to mention that some pregnant women deliberately choose not to have personal labour support. They want to concentrate undisturbed on themselves and their task and rely entirely on the support of the midwife or the obstetric team. If this is the best way for you to organise the birth of your child, those around you should also respect this decision.
If you would like to have someone by your side for the birth, I would advise you to do so regardless of who it is: Talk to before together about what concerns you about the birth. You and your loved one have ideas and expectations, but you may also have worries, questions and fears. It helps to talk about these openly in good time, to harmonise and discuss them with each other. The actual birth process leaves little room for this later on. Take the antenatal course together. The Online birth preparation course is there for you and the partner who is to accompany your birth.
In my experience, it is also helpful if your chosen companion not only knows your birth plan, but if you have drawn it up together. In this important document, you can record your wishes and ideas about the birth process. You can find an article about the birth plan here on my blog. If you have spoken to your companion about this beforehand, she will be able to pass on your wishes to the professional obstetric team in the necessary situations if you are unable to do so at the moment. If you need ideas for your birth plan, you can check out my Workshop "Develop your individual birth plan" be inspired by me.
Your labour companion should also be aware in advance that they need to have time and patience. As you know, a birth can last many hours and is always hard labour for the woman and the baby. Your loved one will therefore experience you in an unprecedented and exceptional situation. Accompanying a woman giving birth therefore also means accepting her sometimes violent reactions, taking a step back and letting go of their needs, honour her immense efforts and, if necessary, mediate between her and the obstetric team. In short, the support team should support the labouring mother in every desired by her and be in good contact with her. Therefore, the right place for the trusted person is also where they can maintain eye contact with the woman giving birth - face to face.
During the entire birth process, you alone are the centre of attention with the aim of bringing your baby safely into the world. Therefore, ask the person accompanying you in advance to look after themselves during these hours so that you don't have to do the same. Taking care of their own snacks, drinks or any breaks to catch your breath is the sole responsibility of your trusted person - you really do have better things to do. And that requires all your attention and energy!
One Response
Thank you for this post about labour support. My sister recently found out she is pregnant and is now looking for a birth companion. Good tip that it can be helpful if the chosen companion not only knows the birth plan, but has created it with you.