Your baby has just been born. Now it is lying on your chest in the delivery room or birthing room immediately after birth. This marks the beginning of the all-important Bonding-phase - the first foundation stone for a child's good development. The first foundation stone because Bonding As I said, this is a phase that continues and intensifies over several days and weeks.
The English term Bonding means "connection". If two people have a good connection with each other, this is something very valuable. It strengthens and energises both of them. In our case, this happens in this first moment of getting to know each other after birth through the child's skin-to-skin contact with the mother and/or father.
Even during pregnancy, most mothers and many fathers have an intimate "bond" with their child. For example, they have lovingly stroked the baby bump and talked to the unborn child. However, the decisive emotional glue for their special bond with their child is the onset of a newborn baby immediately after birth. Bonding. It adds a whole new dimension to the maternal and especially the paternal bond with the child.
Perhaps you are now wondering what the difference is between Bonding and Binding exists. To put it quite simply Bonding emotional attachment develops - initially with the mother or parents. From an adult perspective, this refers to the process in which the mother (and also the father) feel drawn to their baby and can no longer take their eyes off it. This has invaluable, almost vital advantages for the child: The closer the bond between the parents and their baby is, the better they can recognise and respond to the baby's needs. These are excellent prerequisites for the child to be able to bond with its caregivers in a trusting way, to feel cared for, safe, comforted, reassured and at ease with them - and to be able to have successful social relationships later on.
How does bonding work?
Ideally, the baby is born naturally - and then immediately placed on the mother's breast. Both should be able to feel skin-to-skin immediately, without being hindered by cloths or other materials. Bathing and swaddling the newborn should also wait for this first skin-to-skin contact. But of course it should be well covered so that it does not cool down when lying with mum.
Through direct skin contact, the newborn feels the mother's warmth. It gives the child a sense of security in this strange world in which it has suddenly landed. Now the baby is also aware of its mother's already familiar heartbeat. It also begins to memorise mum's unmistakable smell. This is because certain glands around her nipples now release a secretion whose odour serves as a guide for the newborn to the source of milk. Most babies follow this "scent trail" in their first hour of life and begin to suckle on their own. Some children also need a little support for this first breastfeeding.
And how does the mother feel? After the birth, your body releases the so-called "bonding hormone" oxytocin. It not only supports the involution of the uterus and stimulates milk production, but above all strengthens the feeling of togetherness: most mothers are flooded with feelings of happiness when the baby is lying directly against their skin.
This first skin-to-skin contact after birth is therefore the BondingPremiere. It strengthens the woman for her new role as a mother. In the clinic, mother and child have at least an hour or until the first breastfeeding to get to know each other. Routine tasks such as washing or dressing the baby should, if possible, wait during the baby's first hour of life or at least be carried out on the mother's upper body (e.g. the Apgar test).
So let's summarise: The Bonding Immediately after birth, your bond with your child - and subsequently their bond with you - is established. This bond will continue to strengthen. Incidentally, your baby will also be flooded with hormones after the birth, including the 'cuddle hormone' oxytocin. Your oxytocin levels will never be as high as they are in the first three days after the birth. The hormone also helps you to bond closely with each other. It also helps you to maintain a relaxed
build up.
What does research say about bonding?
Scientists wanted to know exactly how this first acquaintance called Bonding on mother and child. The researchers repeatedly came to the same results. Here are some excerpts:
The baby
- ... calms down more quickly. And he finds it easier to relax. Accordingly, it cries less. This means that it also consumes less energy.
- ... keeps its body temperature better. Nevertheless, it is of course immensely important to keep it warm from the outside so that it doesn't cool down.
- ... has a more stable blood sugar level.
- ... is stimulated in its reflexes, which it needs to breastfeed.
- ... is described in his Basic trust promoted.
- ... adapts more easily to the outside world.
- ... is often more self-confident, more interested and less anxious later on.
The mother
- ... is strengthened in her intuition.
- ... is more sensitive to her child's needs and can respond to them more sensitively and confidently. This can even be measured after one year!
- ... feels pain more mildly.
- ... can often breastfeed the child better.
- ... are less likely to suffer from postpartum depression.
- ... is more emotionally balanced.
And if there is no ideal case after the birth?
If the birth was particularly stressful, some mothers may, in exceptional cases, need a little more time to "collect themselves" before they want to welcome their baby. This is fine and does not detract from the bonding process.
Of course, there are also medical reasons why the first contact after the birth described above is not possible or only possible to a limited extent. This is the case, for example, if the mother and/or child require medical care immediately after the birth and the first undisturbed skin-to-skin contact is therefore not possible. (I will discuss the situation following a caesarean section in more detail in this context).
Many pregnant women and women who have recently given birth are therefore worried about whether a good bond with the baby can develop if this first foundation stone of bonding is missing. But I can reassure you right away:
Immediately after the birth, dad can of course also "jump in" and let the newborn cuddle on his naked upper body. Bonding doesn't just take place in the hours after the birth. It also continues in the days and weeks that follow, regardless of what has already taken place in the labour room.
Mothers and fathers can promote the mutual bonding process with their child in this way:
- Lots of skin contact with the childThe body warmth of mum and dad gives the baby a feeling of security. Skin contact also means a soothing, gentle massage that the baby enjoys.
- Carry a lot: Your baby will also feel the warmth and security if you hold it in your arms as often as possible, carry it and rock it gently.
- Much more direct Eye contact with the child: Over time, the baby learns to (re)recognise the familiar faces of mum and dad. This also gives them a sense of security.
- Talk to the child a lotTalking lovingly to your baby and/or singing softly to him also strengthens his sense of security.
- Lots of peace and quietGive yourselves time to get to know your baby. A quiet atmosphere at home without overstimulation and constant guests is helpful.
- Lots of breastfeeding: Breastfeeding is definitely a real "bonding booster"!
If bonding was not possible directly after the birth, the so-called bonding bath helps many mums to make up for the lost moment. This involves mum and baby bathing together and then lying comfortably skin to skin in bed with baby. This simulates the special first skin-to-skin contact after the birth. However, if you would also like to take a bonding bath, you should wait until the Lochia has subsided and your labour wounds have healed. Don't worry, the bonding bath is also balm for your soul after the postpartum period.
Bonding after caesarean section
Regardless of how fit the baby is, the mother must of course receive medical care after a caesarean section. The visual protection from the immediate surgical procedure additionally shields the woman if she is not already under general anaesthetic. In many clinics, the baby is therefore placed in the father's arms after a caesarean section to get to know him for the first time - if he is present. This allows the newborn to cuddle and "bond" with dad after the birth. And preferably skin-to-skin!
However, more and more clinics are now also offering so-called "caesarean bonding". Mothers who have experienced this are very enthusiastic about it. However, the prerequisite for this is that the mother is conscious when the baby is born and the operation still has to be completed. This means that skin-to-skin contact is only possible if she is not under general anaesthetic.
In this case, the baby is also placed on the mother's bare breast for the first time. Often a special Bonding top is used. This resembles a wide strapless fabric tube that the woman pulls over her upper body before the operation. The baby is then placed on mum's body under this bonding top. This prevents the newborn from falling or slipping into the operating theatre. If you know that your baby will be born by caesarean section, you can use your own bonding top. Bonding top However, for this caesarean section bonding, certain procedures have to be changed during a caesarean section operation and you should not need a general anaesthetic for this operation.
If you wish to have this first contact with your baby, it is important that you discuss this in advance with the midwife at the clinic or the doctors there. This applies in particular to planned caesarean sections. So make sure you write this down in your Birth plan.
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