You're doing everything you can to finally get pregnant - and yet the next period comes like clockwork. Nothing again! If pregnancy doesn't work out, you can support your desire to have children yourself in order to positively influence successful fertilisation by natural means.
I have already mentioned in my text about the causes of involuntary childlessness It has been explained that everyday routines can also play an important role. However, if there are medical reasons for an unfulfilled desire to have children, medical advice and, if necessary, treatment is indicated. Nevertheless, you can also use the following tips in preparation for or against the background of a Fertility treatment realise.
Find out your fertile days
If you don't get pregnant, the first step is regularly to determine the time of your fertile days. Your body will give you various clues.
The time window in which fertilisation is possible is limited: Within a monthly cycle, a woman is only able to conceive for five to six days. The linchpin for this is the Ovulation. At this moment, the concentration of the hormone oestrogen is at its peak. The egg cell has matured. The follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH) triggers ovulation. The mature egg from one of your ovaries makes its way through the fallopian tubes towards the uterus. The likelihood of becoming pregnant is highest two days before ovulation and on the day of ovulation itself. The egg that has released during ovulation is ready for fertilisation for 12 to 24 hours. The man's sperm survive for around five days in the female body.
If you want to know when you are ovulating, you can calculate this. This happens around 14 days before the end of a cycle, i.e. between the 12th and 16th day of a 28-day cycle. Most women have a menstrual cycle of between 25 and 35 days. This means that the first day of your period marks day 1 of your cycle and the last day before your next period marks the last day. This is how you determine the length of your cycle. However, it can sometimes fluctuate, which makes the calculation not absolutely reliable. You can also find free calculators on the internet to determine the time of ovulation.
There is also another method that gives you an indication of when you are likely to ovulate. To do this, measure your body temperature every morning before getting up (basal body temperature) for a few cycles. Important when measuring: always directly after waking up, always at the same place (preferably in the anus or vagina) and, if possible for two to three minutes.
In the first half of the cycle, i.e. from the first day of your period until ovulation, your temperature readings are in the normal range at around 36.5 degrees Celsius. After ovulation, the temperature rises by 0.2 to 0.5 degrees - and stays that way in the second half of the cycle until the next menstrual period. You will soon be able to calculate when you will ovulate next. And you already know that the two to three days before and the day immediately before are favourable for conception. There is a technical option for this method that eliminates the need for morning measurements. Your fertile phase is determined in passing with the help of an adhesive pad. You can read the result via an app. Here you can find the practical alternative to checking your temperature in the morning: your personal Cycle tracker.
You can also feel and observe the mucus at the entrance to the vagina. It is formed in the cervix and changes over the course of the cycle: it is initially milky-cloudy, thick and sticky and thus closes the cervix on infertile days. Shortly before ovulation, the mucus then becomes clear and thinner. Nature has arranged this so that the sperm can pass through. As soon as it returns to its original consistency, ovulation is over.
And I don't want to withhold a third method for determining your fertile days from you either: The trade offers so-called Ovulation tests on. This allows you to determine ovulation via the concentration of hormones in your urine. There are also different systems for this. The most suitable test is one that determines two cycle-specific hormones. Namely the concentration of oestrogen and the concentration of luteinising hormone (LH).
If the concentration is correspondingly high, a positive test result indicates that ovulation can be expected within the next 24 to 36 hours. Ovulation test is a very accurate way of predicting your ovulation. However, it is not suitable if you do not have a cycle. This can occur, for example, (temporarily) directly after a pregnancy or in the case of PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome). Hormonal therapy as part of fertility treatment can also falsify the measurement result.
Both abstain from alcohol, drugs and smoking
The scientific finding is that the more alcohol you drink, the worse your chances of a (successful) pregnancy. This applies not only to high-proof spirits, but also to wine and beer, for example. It is best for couples who want to have children to give up alcohol a few months before things get "serious". The recommendation for men is to abstain from alcohol six months in advance. Women should not even touch alcohol for 12 months before conceiving a child.
The fact that smoking also has a negative effect on fertility is now also a proven scientific fact. Numerous studies have shown the link between tobacco consumption and poorer development and quality of eggs and sperm. Even if only one partner smokes, this already has a negative effect. For these reasons, some fertility centres only start treatment when both partners do not (or no longer) smoke.
It goes without saying that drugs are not a good idea before, during or after pregnancy. You can read more about the influence of alcohol, tobacco consumption and drugs on male and female fertility on my blog here read.
Support your own desire to have children with a healthy diet
A balanced diet is an important contribution to your own well-being and health, regardless of whether you want to have children. What you put on your plate influences your metabolism and ultimately also your hormone balance. Nutrition can therefore also have a corresponding effect on the fertility of men and women. Not insignificant excess weight also affects fertility, especially in women. Nevertheless, radical diets are not the right way to go if you want to get pregnant. If you want to reduce your weight during this time, you should proceed gently.
Make sure you eat a varied diet with plenty of protein and vitamins. This includes lean meat, dairy products, eggs and fish. Vitamins are found in fruit and vegetables. Carbohydrates such as pasta, bread or sugar should only be consumed in moderation.
And no: you don't have to reach for so-called "super foods", such as acai and goji berries or chia seeds. The exact effect of these plump ingredients has often not yet been sufficiently researched. What's more, local foods such as blueberries, kale and linseed contain equally healthy nutrients. So bite into a crunchy apple more often!
It's also better to avoid ready-made products or "light" versions. It's best to prepare your own meals from natural and fresh ingredients.
Being underweight also reduces fertility. If you have a very low BMI, try to at least get into the lower normal range with the help of a healthy diet.
Exercise in moderation
Regular exercise (preferably outdoors) and sporting activities are unquestionably healthy and recommended. They get the circulation going and reduce stress. However, the motto here is: in moderation! This will have a positive effect on fertility.
On the other hand, excelling in competitive sport, pushing yourself to the limit every day in the gym for hours on end or regularly testing your athletic limits puts your body under stress, upsets your hormone levels and ultimately has a negative effect on fertility.
Pay attention to the temperature of the testicles
Evolution was clever and "relocated" the adult male's testicles to his outer body. Why? Quite simply because they are exposed to an average ambient temperature of around three degrees lower (34 degrees) than inside the body (37 degrees). This is a good thing, because the quality of the sperm cells is better when they are not too warm. This is why they mature in the testicles "outside in the fresh air", so to speak. They need around 72 days to do this.
However, every man sometimes finds himself in situations where heat affects his sperm production. This could be a visit to the sauna, a journey in a heated car seat or even a laptop on your lap. Now, of course, you're asking yourself: Is this harmful? This question has also been investigated by scientists - with the following result: If the testicles are only heated for a short time, no deterioration in sperm quality has been proven. The situation can be different with long-term and frequent exposure to heat. All men who spend many hours a day sitting at a desk or in a car at work, for example, should therefore avoid using heat pads or seat heating to be on the safe side. It is also more efficient to work on a laptop at a desk instead of balancing it on your lower abdomen.
And another tip: Tight underwear and tight jeans, which may pinch the testicles, can also increase the negative effect. So, dear men: it's better to choose comfortable clothing and, if possible, change your sitting position from time to time.
Don't abstain from sex on infertile days
The idea of "saving" sperm for a woman's fertile days and therefore temporarily abstaining from sex is still popular. However, we now know from research that this does not work. Although the man's ejaculate does indeed contain a slightly larger quantity of sperm after temporary abstinence but their quality has fallen! However, fertility requires sperm cells with good motility, but there are fewer of these after abstinence from sex.
So there is a lot to be said in favour of enjoying your love life outside of your fertile days whenever you feel like it. During sex, positions in which the penis can penetrate as deeply as possible into the vagina can favour successful fertilisation. This shortens the sperm's journey towards the uterus. The sperm cells can also "swim" to their destination more easily if the woman remains still for a while after the act. You can achieve this effect with the help of a small and soft "Silicone cup" support. It can be easily inserted in front of the cervix after intercourse. It brings more sperm to the uterus and thus improves the chances of pregnancy.
On their way, the sperm are best transported in a natural Vaginal flora ahead. This means that the pH value inside your vagina should ideally be between 4.2 and 5, which means that pathogens hardly stand a chance. Various factors such as personal lubricants or intensive intimate hygiene can change the pH value and make it more difficult for sperm to do their job. If you use personal lubricant, you can support the desire to have children if you use a Lubricant gel which supports sperm motility due to its pH value and ingredients.
Stay as relaxed as possible
You may have heard this phrase before: "Stress begins in the mind." This probably aptly describes the situation of many unintentionally childless couples. In addition to the stress that many are exposed to due to their job and everyday life, the fact of not having a child causes them enormous psychological stress. You can read more about this here in the blog. It can happen that the women and men affected gradually subordinate almost all aspects of their lives to the fulfilment of their desire to have children - including only sleeping together according to the ovulation schedule.
Well, it's easy to say: "Relax, do some yoga, treat yourself to a holiday and cut back on overtime!" Of course, these are all helpful ways to slow down your life. Yoga, for example, is an excellent way to be mindful of your body and find relaxation. However, if a regular yoga class is just another appointment and building block to help a pregnancy along, the added value falls by the wayside. After all, there should be no additional stress with the result: "Now I'm also doing yoga and it's still not working." So please don't cause additional stress to avoid existing stress.
The same applies to your love life: If sex becomes a compulsory event and serves merely as a means to the end of procreation, spontaneity, closeness and pleasure will be lost in the long term. I think it's important to focus on what you love and desire in your partner, show it to each other and enjoy your togetherness - without the goal of conceiving a child.
It is also important that you stay in dialogue with each other. Tell each other how you are feeling, what is on your mind, what worries you and what makes you happy. Sharing feelings in this way not only creates closeness, but can also be very relieving. It also takes some of the pressure out of the situation and reduces the focus on the absolute desire to have a child. Even if you don't (yet) have a child: always remember all the positive things in your life - or rediscover them together. Never forget that a long-term relationship lasts more years than caring for growing children. It is therefore important that you build your relationship on a stable foundation that works independently of children.
I would also strongly encourage you to make use of psychosocial counselling if you are feeling stressed by the unfulfilled desire to have children. Talking to experienced professionals will help you to deal with the situation in a more relaxed way and provide emotional relief. You can find out more about the counselling options here.
Support the desire to have children yourself with Cycle tea to support the female hormones
There are various herbal tea blends on the market that are intended to balance the hormone levels in the female body and increase fertility. The herbal active ingredients, such as lady's mantle, monk's pepper or raspberry leaves, are said to stabilise the female cycle and promote the onset of pregnancy. Pharmacies can also put together an appropriate mixture on request.
It is now well known that herbs have a pharmacological effect. Midwives recommend "Stork tea" to support the desire to have children. In addition to monk's pepper and lady's mantle, it also contains cranesbill herb.
