Expectant mothers lovingly stroke their growing bellies, are unbridledly excited about their child, celebrate at the baby shower organised by their best friend and enjoy sharing their happy lives with the world on social media. - This or something similar is often the romanticised idea of what it's like for women to be expecting a child. And yes, most women are also looking forward to their child and are positive about the event.
Nevertheless, the time leading up to the birth can also be accompanied by doubts, worries or fears from time to time. Will I cope well with the birth? Will I/we be able to cope financially afterwards? Will I be able to be a "good" mum? What can I offer my child? What will my career be like later on? Good and bad days are completely normal during a pregnancy - regardless of whether the child has been longed for for a long time or was unplanned. The hormones alone often cause enough mood swings and mental and emotional rollercoaster rides.
For some women, however, dark thoughts and negative feelings begin to dominate everyday life more and more: This can be pregnancy depression. It affects an average of 12 out of 100 pregnant women.
One thing is important to me right from the start: Pregnancy depression is nothing to be ashamed of! Rather, it is a mental illness that - just like many physical illnesses - can be treated successfully. The most important and courageous step is to seek help (more on this below). By doing so, you are not only taking care of your mental and physical health, but also that of your child. Studies have shown that babies born to women with pregnancy depression are born prematurely more often. In addition, the children may be smaller or lighter, and some newborns also find it more difficult to adapt to their new world "out there". This is because the unborn child is exposed to a higher number of stress hormones during pregnancy depression. In addition, untreated pregnancy depression can also develop into a condition requiring treatment after the birth. Postpartum depression develop.
How can you recognise pregnancy depression?
Pregnancy depression generally resembles depression in many of its symptoms. It is characterised by a persistent low mood. A period of (more than) two weeks is considered "persistent". There are various signs that indicate a possible pregnancy depression.
- Self-doubt and fears take up more and more space. This often calls into question the relationship with the child and the ability to be a good mother. Doubts about whether she will be able to love her child enough can also increasingly plague a pregnant woman.
- A persistent feeling of emptiness and sadness spreads.
- The woman loses interest in things she used to enjoy. As a result, hobbies and social contacts are pushed further and further into the background.
- Closeness to others and to her partner causes problems for the pregnant woman and she withdraws further and further.
- The woman quickly bursts into tears and/or often reacts irritably.
- Feelings of guilt arise because the pregnant woman believes that she is not fulfilling the social expectation to look forward to her child without reservation.
Pregnancy depression is also physically noticeable.
- The expectant mother suffers from a loss of appetite.
- A recurring carousel of thoughts at night causes sleep disorders and robs you of a good night's sleep. A spreading leaden tiredness then often makes it difficult to get through the day.
- You may experience abdominal pain and nausea that has nothing to do with the pregnancy.
Why does pregnancy depression occur?
Ultimately, no exact cause has yet been identified. Women in all walks of life can suffer from pregnancy depression: from university graduates to women receiving state transfer payments, from single women to mothers of several children, from pregnant women with a wanted child to women who became pregnant unintentionally.
Nevertheless, there are various life circumstances that increase the risk of developing pregnancy depression. If such circumstances are present, expectant mothers are more frequently affected by depression than other pregnant women.
The risk factors include
Pre-existing mental illnesses: Those who have already experienced a previous depression or other mental illness that occurred independently of pregnancy are more likely to develop pregnancy depression than those who have not had a previous illness.
Difficult, stressful life circumstances: These include serious problems or arguments in the relationship. But money worries, a lack of family support or certain unresolved life events from the past (e.g. experiences of violence) can also be a breeding ground for pregnancy depression.
Problematic pregnanciesStressful irregularities/risks can fuel depressive anxiety. This also applies if the woman has experienced complications or even a miscarriage in a previous pregnancy.
What helps with pregnancy depression?
You may have the impression yourself that you are experiencing more than just a temporary low mood. It's also possible that people close to you (e.g. your partner, girlfriend or mum) are noticing that you need help. Then don't hesitate to speak to someone you trust. For example, you can contact
- your midwife,
- your gynaecologist,
- the self-help organisation Schatten & Licht e. V. (https://schatten-und-licht.de/), which is there especially for women in emotional crises around pregnancy and birth,
- a pregnancy counselling centre such as pro familia (www.profamilia.de),
- The free helpline for pregnant women in need is available around the clock on 0800 40 40 00.
Regardless of which organisation the pregnant woman contacts, someone will always listen to her and take her feelings seriously. Experience has shown that this alone brings initial relief. We then look together at what further specific help can be provided. This can also include arranging contact with an appropriately specialised psychotherapeutic practice. And treatment by specialised doctors focuses on talking therapies.
Sometimes additional treatment with a prescription antidepressant is necessary. The specialist treating you will pay close attention to the composition and dosage of the medication so as not to expose the child to any risk. As a general rule, pregnant women should not take any kind of mood-enhancing medication. always only in consultation with a doctor and do not change the dosage or the dosage yourself.
What can you do yourself if you suffer from pregnancy depression?
If you are ill, you can also do a lot for your own mental health. The following advice can also help as a preventative measure.
- Get as much exercise as possible, especially in the fresh air. Even regular walks outside are easy to do and a real mood booster.
- Make sure you eat a healthy diet. It is also important to drink plenty of fluids (preferably water). You can find out more about nutrition during pregnancy on my blog here.
- Seek dialogue with people you trust. The old adage "a problem shared is a problem halved" is simply justified.
- Don't be afraid to accept offers of support in everyday life from relatives and friends. It's more than okay - it's very responsible!
- Be lenient with yourself. You're not a bad mum just because you might be ill.
- Say goodbye to the idea that everything has to be perfect (e.g. the children's room is already Instagram-ready, the household runs like clockwork, etc.). You don't have to prove anything to anyone.
- Attend group meetings or courses that bring you together with other pregnant women. This could be a yoga course for pregnant women, for example, which provides relaxation, or a self-help group that offers dialogue with other affected women.
- Be patient with yourself. Treating depression takes time.
- Be proud of yourself. You have taken the courageous first step of seeking help!
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