If you're reading this article, you've either just become a mum or you're pregnant and want to get the best possible information in advance to help your baby feel really comfortable with you.
As a midwife, I deal with mums every day who are unsure why their baby is crying and what it needs. Most mums do everything they can to make their baby happy. However, they quickly realise that it is not so easy to understand the baby.
But don't worry: if you take your time, you will be able to understand your baby well.
My workshop and courses will give you all the knowledge you need to make your baby's transition from the cosy time in your belly to the world in your arms as comfortable as possible. A crying baby is a particular challenge for all mums. It was no different for me with my children. To help you create the most relaxed environment possible for your child, I have organised a workshop for you on the Writing baby made. In this workshop, you will learn how you can prevent your baby from becoming a cry baby during pregnancy. The workshop will make you and your partner more confident in dealing with your baby. In combination with my Birth preparation course you are both well prepared for the arrival of your baby.
Why does a baby cry?
Before I tell you more about cry babies, I would like to make something important clear. A baby who cries is by no means a cry baby! A baby's crying and screaming is its language. This is how it communicates with us because it cannot yet speak. Crying ensures its survival. It shows us when it is hungry, cold or in pain. Shortly after birth, many mums are very surprised at how often their baby cries. But this is nothing to worry about. It is communicating its needs to you. You now have to learn to understand them. Over time, you will be able to tell whether your baby is crying from hunger or simply needs a cuddle. Above all, you will find out when it is actually time to get help and involve the midwife or paediatrician.
Imagine waking up in the morning in a bad mood. Or something really stupid has happened to you. What's the first thing you do? You'll probably tell your partner, your mum or your best friend. You'll feel much better after that. Sometimes you just need to let off steam. It's the same for your baby. If it's scared or something is stuck in its tummy, it needs you. When he cries, he's signalling to you: "Please come here and take me in your arms. Comfort me!" Even if the crying doesn't stop, it's just good that you're there. It is important that you ALWAYS react quickly. The baby must first learn that it can rely on you. Please never let your baby cry. If you feel overwhelmed, then get help.
How much crying is normal?
About 20 % of babies cry more than others.
This tells you how much crying is normal: every baby cries for around two hours a day from birth. Most babies cry more in the evening than during the day. They need to process the day and get very hungry. That's why they want to be fed more often in the evening or ask for an extra bottle. This is completely normal and applies to almost all babies. Around the sixth week of life, the crying even increases and a period of up to three hours is still quite normal. Of course this is exhausting, but definitely no reason to worry.
You can recognise normal crying not only by the duration. Above all, you will recognise it when you learn to calm your baby. You rock it in your arms, sing to it or carry it around. Perhaps you breastfeed it more often, swaddle it to sleep or put it in a sling. There are many ways to soothe your baby. In my Workshop I'll tell you a lot more about it. In this Article to my podcast "When babies cry", you can read about another great trick to make life easier for your baby. Crying in these situations is normal communication from your baby. It's exhausting, but it will soon get better if you always react quickly and learn to understand your baby better.
What is a cry baby?
If your baby cannot be comforted by these things and also cries for more than three hours a day, at least three days a week and for longer than three weeks, the crying is no longer normal communication. It probably only falls asleep crying loudly and wakes up crying loudly again. You may wonder whether you are doing something wrong and what exactly it is. Parents in this situation usually take their child to the paediatrician. There's nothing wrong with that. This way it can be ruled out that your baby's strong crying has an organic cause. However, it is extremely rare for there to be an organic cause. One of the most common mistakes made by new parents is to think that stomach ache is the cause of the crying. Friends and acquaintances are quick to advise you to rub some caraway oil on your baby's tummy, give them fennel tea to drink or even resort to medication. But beware: in most cases, the baby has stomach pains BECAUSE it cries so much. It swallows air when it cries. This causes a hard tummy that hurts. If the pain is treated with home remedies or medication, the baby may feel less pain, but the cause has not been remedied. I will show you how you can proceed better in my Online workshop on the topic of cry babies. You can also ask all your questions there.
How does a baby become a cry baby?
What is the cause of the increased crying? A crying baby can have several causes. On the one hand, it can occur if the baby's basic needs are not recognised or satisfied. For example, if you do not respond to your baby's crying, it will initially cry more and more. Until it gives up at some point. However, it won't learn to process its stress. That is dangerous. That's why you should always respond to your baby's crying.
A common cause of crying is overstimulation of the nervous system. This is caused, for example, by a nursery that is not suitably furnished. When organising a baby's room, less is better than more. Apart from a rattle or a cuddle cloth, the baby does not yet need any toys. It is also far too early for a play arch. It's better to store these things somewhere else and take them out when the time is right. Ideally, the room should only consist of a cot and a care area. That's all the baby needs. The workshop will also give you tips on how to avoid overstimulating your baby.
According to studies, a common cause is stress during pregnancy and labour. If you are frequently exposed to stress during pregnancy, this is not only very stressful for you, but also for your baby. Short periods of stress are not a problem and are part of life. However, prolonged high levels of stress are very harmful for the baby. It does not learn to relax. It is very important that every stressful situation is followed by a calm and relaxed phase. You can therefore influence the baby's stress level while it is still in the womb. To do this, you need to specifically relax after stressful episodes and do something good for yourself. In my workshop, you and your partner will learn the best way to do this.
During labour, happiness hormones are released in your body. This happens so that the baby can cope better with the stressful labour phases. It also allows you to relax in between. The better prepared you are for the birth, the less stress you will experience. You can use a birth preparation course for this. Ideally, your partner should also take part so that they are also prepared for everything and can provide you with the best possible support.
The best influence on crying is before birth
- Take time out, do something for yourself
- visit one with your partner Birth preparation course
- learn breathing techniques
- get plenty of fresh air
- I move enough
- Avoid stress
- Eat a healthy and varied diet
What is the stress doing to the baby?
The consequences of stress during pregnancy or labour are not to be sneezed at. In addition to crying, they also have other serious consequences. Crying babies are quickly flooded with stimuli and need a lot of closeness and attention. They are very restless and fidgety. In childhood and adulthood, they have difficulty reducing stress as they have not learnt how to do this in the womb. The best thing you can do for your baby is to set the right course during pregnancy. Take care of yourself and make sure that you have little stress. Prepare yourself and the baby's father well for the birth and the time with your baby. How the birth goes has a fundamental influence on your baby. To help you organise the birth well for your baby, I have created the Online birth preparation course made for you. So that you become more confident about what lies ahead.
