There's no doubt about it: breast milk is optimised to meet the needs of a baby. In addition, it strengthens the Breastfeeding but also the health and well-being of the mother and her relationship with her child. But for every breastfeeding mother, the time to wean comes at some point - sooner for some, later for others.
Before I delve deeper into the subject of weaning, I would like to say one thing first: For various reasons, some women do not breastfeed their babies at all or only for a very short time. Every woman has her own personal reasons for this. These reasons should be respected, even if you would do it differently yourself. Mothers who do not breastfeed or only breastfeed for a short time often still face negative comments from those around them. Sometimes it is breastfeeding mothers of all people who are quick to make derogatory or reproachful comments. I would therefore like to appeal for more solidarity among mothers: Stick together! Standing together strengthens everyone much more than unnecessary skirmishes, judgement or inflaming feelings of guilt. Because one thing is certain: being a "good mum" really doesn't depend on whether the baby is breast or bottle fed! If you want to know more about the reasons that lead mums to decide to bottle feed their baby, you can find here the matching article.
Now I would like to focus on the mother's breastfeeding relationship with her baby, which - also for various reasons - will end or be ended at some point. And as with establishing the breastfeeding relationship, I can only advise you on weaning: It's best to be accompanied! After all, both mum and baby should feel as comfortable as possible. So feel free to contact your midwife or a breastfeeding counsellor. Of course, you can also contact me at my online counselling contact.
Primary or secondary weaning
A basic distinction is made between primary and secondary Weaning. This depends on whether the mother has already breastfed her baby or not.
Primary weaning means that the mother stops breastfeeding immediately after giving birth, even before she has started. But even if she doesn't breastfeed her baby, her body is prepared for milk production. This is why this is also referred to as weaning.
Various reasons can lead to primary weaning - or make it necessary. In some cases, a mother may not be able to breastfeed for health reasons, for example if she has a certain illness or has to take a medication that is incompatible for the child. In other cases, drug abuse may be the reason why a breastfeeding relationship cannot be established. Women also refrain from breastfeeding if the child is to be adopted by other parents immediately after birth.
However, some mothers have decided against breastfeeding from the outset for various reasons.
Secondary weaning is the termination of the breastfeeding relationship after it has begun and the child has been breastfed. The reasons for secondary weaning also vary. For example, some women return to work and are unable to reconcile their employment with breastfeeding, even though maternity protection legislation aims to enable them to do so by allowing extra breaks for breastfeeding or pumping. For other mothers, breastfeeding simply no longer feels right and they want more independence again. In addition, health factors such as serious breastfeeding problems or an illness of the mother can also justify secondary weaning.
Very often, however, the impulse to wean does not come from the mother, but from the baby itself. At some point, the baby indicates that it no longer wants to be (fully) breastfed. It may turn its head to one side, push the breast away or only feed briefly and less intensively. Or it may show a clear interest in what is on the family's plate.
Medication or conservative weaning
There are two methods for ending breastfeeding: the medicinal and the so-called conservative Weaning. The individual reasons and circumstances regularly decide which type is - or must be - used.
Breastfeeding with medication: If there are medical reasons that make rapid weaning necessary, this method is chosen. As the name suggests, the woman is prescribed or administered tablets by a doctor. These contain the active ingredient cabergoline or the active ingredient bromocriptine. Both inhibit milk production by suppressing the release of the hormone prolactin, which is responsible for milk production. As a result, less and less milk is produced.
The duration of use depends on the time at which the medication is to be discontinued. This can range from a single dose immediately after birth for primary weaning to 10 days for secondary weaning. Breastfeeding with medication can be supported by other methods (see below).
The question often arises for affected mothers: Can I still breastfeed my baby as long as my body is still producing milk, even though I am taking breastfeeding tablets? You should discuss this with your doctor or midwife and it also depends on the particular preparation. At least for the active ingredient cabergoline, the website www.embryotox.degreen light, so it is safe for the child. Embryotox is an institute of the Charité hospital in Berlin that provides independent information on the tolerability of medicines during pregnancy and breastfeeding.
However, weaning medication can also cause side effects, for example in the form of nausea, dizziness, headaches and even depressive moods. If taken immediately after the birth, these possible side effects rarely occur. If the mother is already breastfeeding and takes corresponding preparations at a later date, side effects are observed more frequently.
Conservative weaning is the much gentler method, as mother and child can simply take more time to grow into the changing situation together at their own pace.
Gentle and careful - that's the way to go
Whether the impulse to wean comes from you or from your baby, the so-called conservative method of weaning is ideally a gentle process for both sides that takes place over a longer period of time. The aim is to gradually and at your own pace wean the breastfeeding relationship and give up one breastfeed after the other until only one remains and this too is finally ended.
You know the principle: the more often you latch on to your baby, the more milk production is stimulated in your breast. The baby's demand therefore regulates the milk supply. This knowledge helps you when weaning by reversing the principle: less demand leads to less milk production.
In the first stage of weaning, this means: feed your baby less by gradually increasing the interval between feeds so that eventually a complete feed can be replaced. This can then be replaced by a bottle of age-appropriate infant formula if the baby is still only receiving milk feeds. Around the sixth month of the child's life, the breastfeeding meal to be replaced is then replaced by the Complementary food. However, the baby still needs a lot of milk, especially at the beginning of the complementary feeding period. It will therefore take many months with this method before you and your baby want to stop breastfeeding for good. If there are reasons for you to give up breastfeeding sooner, your baby will still need the milk bottle as the main food in addition to complementary food during this time.
However, if there are no external necessities, you can breastfeed your child for as long as it is convenient for you. both feels right.
Various herbal active ingredients are also suitable for reducing milk production. Sage or peppermint, for example, inhibit the production of prolactin. You can drink two to three cups of the respective tea every day. Sage is also available in tablet or drop form. Other teas, such as those made from monk's pepper, walnut leaves or hop cones, are also suitable for support. Ready-made tea blends are already available in the shops as "Weaning tea", which contain some of the aforementioned herbs.
In addition, homeopathic globules of the variety Phytolacca from pokeweed can help with weaning. However, seek advice from a midwife experienced in homeopathy or a pharmacist before taking it.
Mothers who are breastfeeding are often advised to wear a tight-fitting bra. The theory behind this is that the pressure exerted on the breast tissue would cause the milk to recede due to lack of space. However, I would advise caution here! If the breast is constricted too much while the body is still producing a lot of breast milk, this can lead to milk stasis with hardened, painful areas on the breast.
Regardless of this, you should keep a close eye on your breast during the weaning process anyway. This way you will notice in good time if a Milk stagnation is signalled by blocked milk ducts. If your breasts feel engorged and/or hardened when you reduce the number of feeds, cool curd compresses, for example, can alleviate the discomfort. You can also gently massage your breasts to relieve them and prevent engorgement. It is important to prevent this from developing into a painful and treatable lump in the worst case scenario. Chest inflammation developed.
Please also consult with your Midwifebefore you pump a full breast or let the baby drink from it. Because both work first stimulating on milk production and thus delays the weaning process, whereas the exact opposite is what you want to achieve.
In a breastfeeding relationship, the evening meal at the breast is most often the last to be given up. Especially before going to bed, mum and baby still like to enjoy their unique togetherness in the dim light, which gives the child so much security and peace. Interesting fact: your breast also adjusts to this. So don't put yourselves under pressure here, but trust that you will both find the right time together when this meal can also be given up.
If you have breastfed your baby for the last time sooner or later, there may still be some milk left in your breast afterwards. This is completely normal, as milk production sometimes only stops completely after a few months. Your body can cope with this very well, by the way, as it breaks down this milk on its own. So you don't need to do anything else. If weaning from the breast is gentle and gradual, there is usually no milk build-up after weaning.
Letting go is sometimes difficult
Gradually stopping breastfeeding is not only good for your health, but also makes the weaning process easier for mum and baby. It is another step towards independence for your little one. Being able to dip the spoon into the porridge and bring it to the mouth is a huge development! On the other hand, breastfeeding has not only given the child nourishment, but also security and safety. That's why your child may feel the need to be close to you when weaning. This is when lots of cuddling, understanding and affection can help. Perhaps you can also introduce new mealtime rituals where you can continue to let your child feel your love. This will make it easier for him - and for you - to say goodbye to breastfeeding.
Because for you as a mother, too, it now means letting go of your child a little. Some women find it more difficult to gradually loosen this special bond of breastfeeding with their child and finally sever it for good. Just like the 28-year-old who had repeatedly delayed the day of her child's very last breastfeed before going to bed, even though her daughter was clearly signalling with her behaviour: "That's okay with me, mum!" So one day, the mum finally made up her mind, left the child and the evening ritual to her father and fled to friends. There she calmed herself down with a glass of wine and waited for the redemptive phone call. But it never came. The mum was already shaken by the wildest fantasies of an inconsolably crying child and a completely helpless father when the message finally arrived on her smartphone: "Our little one slipped away very quickly and peacefully - but unfortunately so did I. I'm sorry! Sorry! I hope you're okay?" Great relief, but also a bit of sadness and uncertainty mixed in. Will I no longer be as important to my child without breastfeeding?
I can assure you, dear mums, that you are and will remain as important as ever after weaning. Because your love and care for your child, your joy, your understanding and empathy continue to have an effect. This unique bond remains, even if there is no Stillrelationship is more.
Breastfeeding and renewed pregnancy
Some women become pregnant again while they are still breastfeeding their first child. Does this mean they have to stop breastfeeding straight away? The answer is no. However, the woman's body now adapts completely to the new pregnancy and, after the birth, to the needs of the newborn. The hormonal changes mean that milk sometimes flows less during pregnancy and its flavour also changes. Many children who are still breastfeeding then temporarily no longer like it so much. Some children stop feeding at the breast of their own accord. If this is not the case, a mother can also breastfeed both children, i.e. the older child and the new baby virtually at the same time (so-called tandem breastfeeding). In this context, I remember three-year-old Samuel explaining to his mum that it wouldn't be a problem for her to breastfeed him and the baby, as she had two breasts. I am still impressed by the little child who was able to perform this mathematical and logical feat to give his mum the courage to believe that tandem breastfeeding would work.
Another question is whether this is good for the older child and the relationship between the children. After all, being the "big one" with completely different abilities and possibilities than a newborn is also a wonderful thing. Mothers who do not want to practise tandem breastfeeding should therefore signal to the older breastfeeding child as clearly as possible before the next birth that they will not lose their love and closeness, even if the breast is to be reserved for the infant.
The older child should not get the impression that it is no longer allowed to breastfeed its mother "just because of the new baby". This would fuel his jealousy.
