Your breast hurts, your baby is crying, your nights are sleepless and you haven't had time for a quiet meal for days. You are increasingly worried that breastfeeding will never work. Because your child is not taking to the breast as well as you had imagined. It is difficult. You are frustrated.
What can you do to escape this frustration?
After all, you have been implementing all the therapeutic measures and many tips for days. If you're in this phase and everything just seems bad, it's worth taking a closer look. Look at what works. Realise what has already improved.
You will immediately recognise that there are things that already work, or at least work more often than they did a few days ago. But you didn't even realise that. You have seen many things. The things that are not yet going so well weigh particularly heavily and these are driving your worries. They influence your perception.
You may discover: The nipple is already a little better, your body temperature is back to normal, the baby may have cried for fewer minutes yesterday and maybe it has been easier for you to put it to your breast at least once. If not everything is good, not everything is bad. There are many small successes on the way to uncomplicated breastfeeding.
I'm sure you know that too. Maybe you can't feel it. It's not nice. But you can take comfort in it. This distorted impression is completely normal. Because the brain plays a trick on us: it perceives the bad aspects much more clearly. The happiness of success quickly evaporates. The frustration of the smallest failure lingers for a long time. You need 14 successes to balance out the heaviness of a single failure in your mind.
However, you can influence this distortion of your brain's perception. You don't just have to accept it and put up with it. If you take into account that your brain forgets your successes, you just have to make them last. Make your successes visible for longer! That way you will still be aware of them even when they are long gone.
It's very simple:
If you have a place where you often sit while breastfeeding, then this is the right place to remind yourself of your successes. Simply stick a reminder note on the wall for every small success. You will see that this wall fills up quickly. If things don't work out from time to time, take a look at your evidence. They show you that what has worked so often will work again. The notes are the visible proof. You can see it even when you have to endure a setback. You can feel it. Every time you look at the pins, you see your success.
Of course, it's even nicer if you have someone to praise you for your successes. A small flower with every successful breastfeeding makes a lavish bouquet in just a few days.
The flowers show you: the bouquet grows quickly. The successes come faster. You can do it, you can see it in every single blossom.
What you don't need in this situation are demotivating comments from others. Look for people who will motivate and support you. Isolate yourself from everyone and everything that does not support you in this phase. Try to protect yourself from any stress.
Only have guests who support you during this phase. Get the sleep you need by sleeping to your baby's rhythm and use breastfeeding times for your own meals.
Regular life returns. It won't take long. I promise!
