All parents around the world know this situation: the baby cries, is restless, doesn't want to calm down and certainly doesn't want to sleep. In the Mongolian steppe, in a Kenyan kraal, in a German terraced house, on a Brazilian hacienda, in an Indian corrugated iron hut or in a Californian skyscraper, generations of mothers, grandmothers and midwives know this: Gentle auditions can work small miracles.
Lullabies are (almost) as old as mankind itself. Clay tablets from ancient Babylon, for example, tell of mothers singing their children to sleep. One of the oldest documented lullabies can be admired in cuneiform script in a London museum. Just for context: cuneiform was used from the 4th millennium BC to the first millennium AD.
Today, different typical lullabies have been handed down in every country. In Germany, we immediately think of well-known pieces such as "La le lu, only the man in the moon is watching..." or "Weißt du wieviel Sternlein stehen..." As different as the language melodies are around the world, the structure of many lullabies is similar everywhere. They always have a calm melody and lyrics that wish the child a peaceful and safe slumber.
Some of you may now object: "But I can't sing at all!" Don't worry and seriously, dear parents - anyone can sing! It may be that some of you get a few wrong notes in between. So what? You can be sure of one thing: your baby doesn't care about off-key notes! It simply loves your familiar voice colour, with which you sing a soft melody to it and in this way wrap it in security and safety or give it comfort. This quickly relieves anxiety and tension - not only for the child, but also for the parents.
But your audition can do much more than "just" soothe the baby.
What effect do lullabies have on babies?
The tempo of lullabies and cradle songs alone is regularly slower than baby's heart rate. The little heart beats 120 to 140 times per minute. If the baby is excited or stressed, its heartbeat is even faster. On the other hand, "Weißt du wieviel Sternlein stehen" or "Guten Abend, gute Nacht" only have just under 80 BPM (beats per minute) and can be sung even slower if you like. This brings the baby "down" wonderfully and calms him down. The same applies to the simple, memorable melodies. Parents also use the soft singing to signal to their baby that they themselves are completely relaxed - that everything is OK. In this way, your calm and relaxation can also be transferred to your child. At the same time, singing to your baby also strengthens the parent-child bond. And you really don't need to be master singers to do this!
If you hold your baby in your arms while singing, you will usually intuitively rock it gently back and forth. This additional calming movement also lends itself to the 6/8 or 3/4 beat of many old lullabies. Your child may even feel reminded of their time in mummy's womb when they had her familiar voice around them in the cosy confines while their mother "rocked" them around. This also conveys a feeling of security. In this way, a lullaby can be wonderfully incorporated into a little evening bedtime ritual. By the way: The calming effect also works if you sing to your baby in a language other than their mother tongue!
Lullabies also soothe the singer. In other words, the parent who is trying to calm the excited baby.
It's understandable that a baby's crying can get on your nerves. However, the problem is that stressed parents are less able to calm their babies down. The stress hormones not only make the baby's heart beat faster, but also those of adults. It is therefore not uncommon for the situation to escalate and parents and their baby end up in a maelstrom of stress and frustration.
Singing the lullaby also has a calming effect on the person who wants to soothe the baby. It also helps to calm the child because it also calms and strengthens the comforting parent.
What does research know about parental singing for babies?
In general, I can only advise you to sing to your babies and toddlers frequently. In addition to the soothing lullabies, there are also so many wonderful play songs, such as "Es tanzt ein Bi- Ba- Butzemann". This has another great side effect: your baby will not only listen raptly to your voice, but will also watch your lip movements and facial expressions carefully. Your little one may even try to imitate these movements, such as pursing their lips for an O or opening them wide for an A. And this is already a clear step on the way to Learn to speak, long before the child can form their own first words! This also helps children become more familiar with the melody of their mother tongue.
For many years, scientists have also been investigating the question of whether parental singing contributes to emotional self-control in babies. After all, children are not born with the ability to regulate and calm themselves. They first have to learn it. Singing to them can help with this, as it has been proven to have a significantly greater effect on "agitated" children than simply talking to them in a calming way. As a result of a Study calm babies for around nine minutes - but talking to them only takes half as long. Incidentally, this also applies when mums sing a little "concert" in a language other than the child's mother tongue for an excited or whinging child. Singing calms the baby more than talking to it.
So don't be afraid to perform your favourite cuddly songs, even if they are in English or French. Another Study with babies aged between eight and 10 months and their parents confirmed that children can be calmed better by singing than by talking. This effect is even stronger with songs that the child already knows.
However, there is an increasing trend in western industrialised nations for mothers and fathers to talk more to their babies to calm them down instead of singing to them. And that they often shy away from singing to their child and later with them. This is certainly also due to today's pressure for perfection, which doesn't even stop at parental singing. How often have I heard the explanation "I'm totally unmusical". And of course the fear of off-key notes ("I can't hold a tune").
My tip: Start "practising" the audition, which may only be an audition at first, during pregnancy - on the sofa during a break, while folding laundry, while cooking, on a short walk. Whenever you are alone with your unborn child: Sing! This will give you increasing security and growing confidence in your voice. This will make it easier for you to sing after the birth, even if your "audience" can then look you in the eye. You will also quickly realise that your singing has a positive effect on yourself, as it supports your breathing and increases the oxygen saturation in your blood, regulates your blood pressure and relieves tension. And these are just some of the many positive side effects.
Even unborn babies are captivated by melody and rhythm - and become familiar with them in their mother's womb. How wonderful when the songs they already know resound again after the birth. More security is hardly possible!
What is the best thing to sing to your baby?
Perhaps you would like to sing something to your child, but don't quite know which song? Many parents no longer know the old "classics" of well-known songs. Or they simply don't know the words. No problem! The internet is full of song lyrics, sheet music and videos that parents can use to fill in the gaps in their knowledge or get new ideas. Perhaps you also have a quiet pop or musical song that you particularly like. Go ahead! You can also sing it to your baby.
A mum recently told me that she even wrote her own lyrics to the melody of "Lal Le Lu ..." with her son's name. There are no limits to your creativity.
In the beginning, when I was often carrying my babies and singing to soothe them, I came up with my own melodies. I sang them so often that I still remember them when one of my children needs comforting. Back then, I had a different song for every situation. A lullaby to put them to sleep, funny children's melodies to motivate them on long car journeys and the melody that came to me when I was carrying the children around the house for hours on end to comfort them. This gave me melodic support for my children. It made many difficult situations easier for me and for them too. Give it a try! Perhaps in a few years' time you will be able to look back on particularly wonderful moments of comforting your child.
You can also just hum a melody to calm your baby down if you can't remember the words. However, it is important for your child, your voice live in the original to hear. Even the most beautiful professional version of a song from a CD or the internet is no real substitute for the familiar voice of "his people", which gives the baby such a sense of well-being. No toy, etc., on which you could record your own voice will do. There is no substitute for parents (or grandparents)!
